Mistaken Identity
by CrystalMaiden77
Summary: Kat used a ray gun to make Phoebe see Dennis as Coop, and it has shocking consequences.


Kat used a ray gun to make Phoebe see Dennis as Coop, laughing at the thought of her flirting with Dennis and freaking him out, after delivering a box of chocolates to Phoebe with Coop's name on it. So he was certain of what would happen after he hit Phoebe with the ray gun. Smirking, he left as she walked into Coop's room, where Dennis was cleaning Coop's closet.

" Oh, Coop! " Dennis heard Phoebe call out for Coop, and thought nervously, " _Sure am glad I'm not him._ " To his surprise, Phoebe snuck up behind him and startled him by exclaiming, " There you are! " Dennis jumped and turned around, exclaiming, " Huh?! "

Phoebe said with gratitude, " I've been looking all over for you, Coop! Thank you for all the chocolates! " Confused, Dennis said, " Uh, thanks, " and thought, " _Why does she think I'm Coop? How could she possibly... Oh. Kat! Figures._ " Dennis became nervous and panicked after Phoebe walked into the closet with him and closed the door behind her.

" What are you- " " You were _so sweet!_ I just _loved_ the gift! Any gift from _you_ is great! " Phoebe put her hands on his shoulders and said with a loving smile, " Now here's _mine,_ " and Dennis squeezed his eyes shut in preparation before Phoebe kissed him for six seconds with her arms around him in a hug.

At first, Dennis thought he had been kissed by someone else, because he couldn't believe just how content it made him feel. Her kiss was gentle rather than forceful, and her lipstick tasted like strawberries. He felt surprisingly comfortable in her warm, soft, and gentle embrace. After three seconds when the initial shock wore off, Dennis instinctively put his arms around her, returning the hug, and got lost in Phoebe's warm embrace.

After the six seconds were over, Phoebe slowly ended the kiss, sighed in lovestruck bliss, saw that he was smiling, and said softly with surprise, " Coop, you liked it... " This jolted Dennis back into reality and made him come to his senses in a heartbeat. He remembered that his arms were around his best friend's stalker and immediately took them off in a panic, realizing what he had just done. He knew that as soon as the effects of the brainwashing wore off, Phoebe would come after Coop, who would be the exact opposite of supportive. Dennis started stammering in panic, and Phoebe exclaimed happily, " You _liked it!_ " noticing that he was blushing.

" W-W-W-Wait, let me explain- " Phoebe exclaimed happily, " You _liked it!_ You actually _liked_ it! _Yes!_ Ohhhh, this is too good to be _true!_ You've _never_ appreciated my affection before! I can't believe this is actually happening! This is so _unlike_ you! It's too good to be true! It's too good to be... true... "

Phoebe looked suspicious and disappointed, and asked, " What were you going to say? " Feeling devastated, Dennis knew that he would have to reject her, and it would be the hardest thing he would ever have to do. He forced himself to say, " I _can't_ be your boyfriend. " Phoebe asked in annoyed confusion, " But why _not?_ " remembering his reaction to her kiss. Dennis answered sadly,

" Because you don't _love_ me. "

Phoebe gasped and exclaimed, " Of _course_ I do! You're my _HERO!_ I would do _anything_ for you!

I-I would _sacrifice my life_ in a heartbeat for you! I-I-I would _take a bullet for you!_ I, I would stop at _nothing_ to make your life less stressful, _if only_ youwould _LET_ me! If that gets me taken advantage of, _great!_ By all means, take advantage of me! Walk all over me! Ask me for any favor, even if it's _DANGEROUS!_ Because I would settle for _anything_ if it meant I was _ALLOWED_ to _make you happy_! _..._ _Don't you tell me I don't love you._ "

Phoebe looked sad, and Dennis was astonished at what she said. She said it with such sincerity, such genuine emotion and passion, that it made him even more upset than ever that she wanted someone else. After a couple seconds, Dennis finally said quietly, " I thought it was just a crush... "

Phoebe explained in a serious tone, " Coop, listen to me... A few years ago, my love _was_ just a crush. Back then, I wasn't willing to do _anything_ to _help_ you, I didn't know you _nearly_ as much as I do now, and I wasn't even a _fraction_ as _loyal_ to you. I bet I would've _turned against you_ if you did something bad enough. In fact, deep down... I resented you... Back then, it _was_ just a crush. But _that was the past._ "

Dennis listened intently as she continued with a smile, " Things have changed since then! You're _different_ now! You're more than just some boy I like, you're a _HERO! My HERO!_ So now I admire you more than _anybody_ else in the _world!_ You're brave and strong and smart and courageous and you can do _anything_ you set your mind to! _My WORLD would FALL APART without you!_ Without you, there's no point in LIVING, because you are the most IMPORTANT person in my life! You're so important that I pushed you out of the way of a falling _chandelier_ and risked getting _crushed_ to save you, and didn't even ask for a reward, because saving someone like _you_ was its _own reward!_ So what more proof do you need?! It's not just a crush anymore! _I love you!_ "

Dennis was astonished at the overwhelming evidence that Phoebe loved Coop, and wished that she had never doubted her. After a few seconds, he asked, " So there's _nobody else_ you'd _ever_ settle for?" There was a silence. Phoebe looked surprised, and then annoyed, since she had interpreted it as an insult. She didn't want him to think that she was a spoiled brat who refused to get anything close to what she wanted, so she decided to tell him the truth.

" Do you promise not to tell? " Phoebe asked in annoyance. Curious, he nodded, and she said reluctantly, " I'd settle for Dennis. " He exclaimed, " You _would?!_ " trying to hide how happy he was that he had a chance with her. " Yes... To be honest, a few years ago I wouldn't have given him the time of day, but my opinion of him has changed since then. He has done _EVERYTHING possible_ to _earn my RESPECT._ I admit it, I _ADMIRE_ the guy! _He_ can be pretty brave, _too!_ Sure, I don't want to be anything but friends right now, but he's still the second most IMPORTANT person in the WORLD to me, and that means a _lot_ coming from me! "

Dennis smiled. That did make him feel a little better. Considering how much Phoebe admired Coop, to be admired by her almost as much, meant a lot coming from her, and he couldn't help but feel honored at that. He thought, " _What exactly did I do to earn such respect from her? All I can think of is saving the world from Kat, but how would she know about that? Nah. If she knew Kat was an alien, she'd tell me!... Right?_ " After a brief hesitation, Dennis asked nervously, " So, what- " " So then why can't you be my boyfriend? " Phoebe interrupted in confusion, preventing him from asking the question.

There was a silence as Dennis looked nervous, knowing that he couldn't tell her the truth but desperately wanting to. " I _told_ you that I _love_ you!... Don't you _believe_ me? " she asked sadly. Dennis said, " Yes, I _believe_ you! But... that's not the only reason I can't _be_ with you... I-I-I, I'm, I'm not... "

He sighed and said, " Oh, you would never believe me... " looking away from her sadly. Since he was looking away, he was unable to see that Phoebe looked shocked and intrigued. After a few seconds, Dennis turned back to her, and put his hands on her shoulders.

" You _can't..._ Because you're going to get _hurt._ " Phoebe looked sad and disappointed, but oddly not startled. Dennis said sadly, " I don't want you to get hurt, " as he held back tears. It became clear to Phoebe that he wasn't just making excuses. He desperately didn't want to reject her, and doing so was making him miserable.

" Look, I don't _want_ to reject you! I _promise!_ You have _no idea_ how _hard_ this is for me! You're _sweet_ and _beautiful_ and I _appreciate_ your _love,_ but I _can't_ be with you! It's just that the CIRCUMSTANCES make it WAY harder than it _should_ be for me to be with you! And you don't deserve to get HURT! You don't deserve to go through all that! You don't deserve to be constantly put in _DANGER!_ " Catching his mistake, Dennis quickly stammered and clarified, " Of _heartbreak!_ " not wanting Phoebe to figure out the terrible truth about Kat.

There was a silence, and Phoebe seemed disappointed, but oddly accepting. Finally, she sighed, lifted her head up and said melancholically, " You're right... I _don't_ deserve it... I _knew_ you'd say that... I wish I never got the courage to ask... " Feeling guilty, Dennis asked, " So you understand? " hoping she wasn't mad that he shattered her hope into pieces. " I understand completely. " Dennis said, " You do? "

" Yes. You want to _protect me._ Because I'm a girl your little sister's age, you think I can't _handle_ getting _hurt_. You think I'd _freak_ out. You think I can't take care of _myself_. " Suddenly, Dennis remembered how Fiona reacted to Coop wanting to protect her, and became frightened at what seemed like a prime example of tranquil fury.

He was surprised when Phoebe begged, " But I _can!_ I _promise_ , Coop, _I'm READY! Please,_ just give me a _chance!_ You know I'd go through _anything_ for _you!_ Whatever I have to deal with, I can _HANDLE_ it! I _promise!_ I don't _blame_ you for thinking I can't handle it, but you're _wrong!_ No matter how much TROUBLE it is helping you, it's _WORTH it!_ Because _ANYTHING_ is better than the way things are! _Sure,_ your life is HARD, but at least it's not BORING, POINTLESS AND UNFULFILLING, like MINE! _Anything_ is better than being _TRAPPED_ as a _USELESS_ _stalker!_ "

She looked like she was forcing herself not to cry. Rejecting Phoebe was the hardest thing he had ever tried to do, and it was getting harder by the second. Every second just prolonged the pain. He felt extremely sorry for her as she begged, " So _please_ LET ME _HELP YOU!_ I don't care _WHAT_ I have to AGREE to! I'll do _ANYTHING!_ "

" Stop, stop, STOP! Okay, I'll think about it! But I'd have to ask my friend if it's okay! So... if _the answer is no..._ don't blame _me._ " Phoebe wiped away tears, and smiled nervously, shocked at the response she was lucky enough to get. After a silence, she said,

" Okay... Thank you... I'd NEVER blame _YOU,_ Coop... _I never did._ " As Phoebe stared into his eyes with a lovestruck smile, Dennis stared back in amazement. She had the sweetest smile, and he couldn't believe he never appreciated it before. He knew that this would be the last time he would ever be able to show her that he loved her, and he had to take that opportunity, because if he didn't do it right then and there, he would never forgive himself.

Unable to resist any longer, Dennis quickly put his arms around Phoebe, ducked her like a pro and gave her a six second kiss. She happily returned it in lovestruck bliss, hugging him back, unable to believe her good luck. It was perfect, and the moment seemed to last forever.

Six seconds later, he ended the kiss, and carefully let her go. " Thank you... " Phoebe said softly to him. " It's... it's too bad we can't be together... " She stroked his hair and face while saying,

" Because we would be _perfect_ together... " Still overwhelmed with happiness, Phoebe kissed his cheek, sighed and left the closet, leaving him all alone.

His lovestruck smile gradually faded into a heartbroken expression as Dennis snapped out of the bliss and remembered that he would never be able to kiss her again. After all those years, he finally understood how Phoebe felt. Love could be a beautiful thing, but unrequited love made people miserable. After that one last kiss, his every next encounter with her would be full of heartbroken longing for her, as well as jealousy that she wants his best friend instead of him. Kat didn't just give him a prank. He gave him a curse, and without even realizing what he did.


End file.
